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Nothing to do with Food. Everything to do with nosy neighbors.

Ok. So we have this seriously nosy neighbor. She’s in her 70′s, never married, and spies on on all of us that live around her. Case in point? One day last summer she actually screamed to us from the center floor of the building (an office that was being remodeled). She was either staring at the neighbors next door or eavesdropping on the conversation we were having in the kitchen. She wanted me to JUMP THE FREAKING ROOF, climb into her window, and open her door for her. She locked herself out spying. Seriously—she brought me down to her spying place and showed me the view. Of the neighbors’ houses, and OUR PATIO. I was like, W.T.F??? Aren’t you even the slightest bit embarrassed at being CAUGHT peeping tomming? (is that a word? lmfao) She has actually brought up things that we have talked about IN OUR KITCHEN to no one else, as if she were part of the conversation we had. We installed a translucent roof on that patio, and now close the door unless we’re talking in English.

There is a point to this story. I ran into this woman today on my way out to the grocery. The first thing she said to me? “You’re fatter!” with a celebratory little pat on my belly. Um, yeah. Thanks, beyotch. Just what I wanted to hear. She continued on, however, saying that the reason I’m fatter is that I’ve been having too many barbecues with friends, and probably the wine we drink while barbecuing is making me fat. No. Lie. You know, I thought that by building the greenhouse in that corner, and having the gazebo thingie we have she’d have lost her view. That woman has got to have some serious spy gear to be achieving the level of infiltration she is. She is 4 stories up from where we grill. 4. Freaking. Stories! How in the hell is she doing that?

So, I’m a little freaked out and thinking of installing surveillance cameras looking up to her roof. Then I’ll broadcast them on the huge white building across the street like the films we used to watch in high school. I think fil still has a super 8…………….


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