Nothing to do with Food. Everything to do with nosy neighbors.

Ok. So we have this seriously nosy neighbor. She’s in her 70′s, never married, and spies on on all of us that live around her. Case in point? One day last summer she actually screamed to us from the center floor of the building (an office that was being remodeled). She was either staring at the neighbors next door or eavesdropping on the conversation we were having in the kitchen. She wanted me to JUMP THE FREAKING ROOF, climb into her window, and open her door for her. She locked herself out spying. Seriously—she brought me down to her spying place and showed me the view. Of the neighbors’ houses, and OUR PATIO. I was like, W.T.F??? Aren’t you even the slightest bit embarrassed at being CAUGHT peeping tomming? (is that a word? lmfao) She has actually brought up things that we have talked about IN OUR KITCHEN to no one else, as if she were part of the conversation we had. We installed a translucent roof on that patio, and now close the door unless we’re talking in English.

There is a point to this story. I ran into this woman today on my way out to the grocery. The first thing she said to me? “You’re fatter!” with a celebratory little pat on my belly. Um, yeah. Thanks, beyotch. Just what I wanted to hear. She continued on, however, saying that the reason I’m fatter is that I’ve been having too many barbecues with friends, and probably the wine we drink while barbecuing is making me fat. No. Lie. You know, I thought that by building the greenhouse in that corner, and having the gazebo thingie we have she’d have lost her view. That woman has got to have some serious spy gear to be achieving the level of infiltration she is. She is 4 stories up from where we grill. 4. Freaking. Stories! How in the hell is she doing that?

So, I’m a little freaked out and thinking of installing surveillance cameras looking up to her roof. Then I’ll broadcast them on the huge white building across the street like the films we used to watch in high school. I think fil still has a super 8…………….

49 Responses to “Nothing to do with Food. Everything to do with nosy neighbors.”

  1. I’ve got to feel sorry for her. She must be lonely if she has to spend all of her time spying on people. Got nothing better to do with her time.

  2. Turning it around is a good idea … as long as you first send her the message you don’t like being watched (and criticized!)
    and that you’ll stop when she does…

    Good luck, Nikki, I’m hoping to change an acoustically horrible living situation on Friday myself!

  3. Oh that has to be a totally uneasy feeling! neighbors can be such a tricky thing…ours don’t speak to us since they cut down our bushes while we were on vacation….shouldn’t we be the ones not speaking to them?

  4. girl tell me you told her she got uglier when she she you were fatter?

  5. That’s hilarious! I hate nosey people!

  6. Time to move, a blessing in disguise. Great interest rates, great prices and if you are a 1st time buyer, perhaps great tax incentives. Do you rent? If so, I would leave skidmarks getting out of there if I were you!

  7. Didn’t realize you don’t live in the States, so maybe the above won’t work. Do you have a fountain? Maybe that will make listening more difficult. It’s almost seems she has a microphone hidden. Could she?

  8. It doesn’t seem to matter what part of the world we live in – every neighbourhood seems to have at least one.

  9. LMAO peeping tomming!

  10. She is lonely and I think you should invite her to one of your BBQ’s!!! She might be a wonderful person!!!!

  11. Ooh, yikes. She is clearly a psychopath. A harmless one, but psychopathic nonetheless. Poor thing.
    By the way, I’ve had 8 people tell me I got fatter. Did they expect me to SMILE at that?! Visibly showed my distaste.

  12. A harmless psychopath! :D

    She sounds lonely but harmless, I feel sorry for people like that. Probably if I were old and lonely I’d be watching the neighbours, not in a malicious way but out of boredom and isolation.

    Remember the Hitchcock movie, Rear Window. It’s about a guy with a broken leg who is confined to a room and draws pleasure from watching the lives of his neighbours. Nothing seedy but of course one hid neighbours murders his wife,hopefully this isn’t relevant!

    You say she’s been a peeping tom which would typically suggest something voyeuristic. What kind of barbeque’s are we talking about here?

    Try and forget about her. Imagine she’s part of the wildlife or she’ll probably drive you crazy.

  13. I agree with Bellini and Nina – she’s probably very lonely and you should invite her to one of your BBQ’s. She may even be a good cook and could bring something interesting. She may even turn into a friend who would keep an eye on your place when you go out of town.

    Or you could just ignore her and go on with your life. Every apartment / condo I ever lived in, had someone like her. I remember the time we painted our living room and had to take down the blinds and curtains. Every hour, on the hour, a pair of these magpies would stroll past and peer in to see what we were doing. Perhaps they were vetting our color choices.

  14. Hahahaha! It’s amazing how much energy people exert trying to get dirt on us huh??? I have people like that around me too. Peeping tomming! LOL!

  15. If she’s lonely, she doesn’t have to wonder why, right? There are always a few tacky/psychotic people in the neighborhood.

    Maybe you could stage a fake murder and *really* give her something to look at. ;)


  16. What a story!!!!! Why don’t you take her a pie with laxative as main ingredient?

    I would go crazy like you!!!!!

  17. No kidding on surveillance cameras – the other day on the news this lade alerted the police while discovering via her camera that there’s a thief in her house. Within minutes, there were 15 cops descending to her home, catching the thief in the action!

    Although who has time to stare at a computer screen connected to their cameras all day???

    Gabi @ Mamaliga.

  18. so take her a bottle of wine, or two and let her drink up til she gains weight… nosy neighbors are the worse! ugh.

  19. Perhaps she is looking for herself and thinks that she is inside of every house. For the next time, put a mirror when she looks at your window and when she watches herself maybe go her home relaxed. Then, put the mirror out of her house´s door thus always she is going to looking for herself she will find quickly ang goes back to the tv, phone, book,..

  20. Well Nikki, I’ve moved, I’ve got a new blog, I’m re-organizing my feeds and such, and I notice you’ve gone MISSING!

    I hope you’re all right, and just taking a break… But I can’t stop thinking that that neighbor has something to do with this.

    Miss you!

  21. Mess with her!

    Start with verb dropping.

    “I was at the store the other day and i accidentally a whole cucumber”

    Then move on to more sinister stuff… make up code words, while pointing or nodding in her direction.

    Pause mid-sentence, close the curtains for 30 seconds, then open them and leave the room…

    Plan a day out, but refer to it as “the day”, where “it’s” going to happen, in a month or two’s time.

    I wish i had a nosey neighbour, hours upon hours of fun to be had.

  22. My mother has a neighbor like that. When my brother came home from college, she called my mother and said that “Her husband was looking out the window and saw a man in the house. He got out his telescope and was looking in to see if everything was OK – did she have company?”


  23. Are you o.k.???? I realyy liked your blog!

  24. Querida Nilkki, como estàs y donde estàs?? quiero saber de tì te echo de menos, besooss, Gloria

  25. Hey you got lost with your neighbor??? We would love to read more recipies and more delicious food pictures! Skip on the negative things and bring us more of that glorious food experiences!

    Greetings from your neighbor in Tenerife, we just a bought a home and I got a brand new big kitchen with a ocean view here!


  26. Haha! Semmy, it would seem she did kidnap me, huh? We’ve been on vacation, and before that, I was in a rut…no inspiration! I have to get back on the horse. An ocean view kitchen?! Nice!!

  27. Hola preciosa! Gracias por escribir…estoy aquí…a ver si encuentro la inspiración otra vez……. :)

  28. Aw! Thank you, Ronda! Going to try to find some inspiration again……. I really appreciate your comment!! :D

  29. Goodness… she really takes spying to a whole new level. If she wasn’t soooo annoying, you just might feel a little sorry for her.

  30. I just found your blog last week and I am completely obsessed with your recipes! And then there’s the pictures!! Everything looks amazing!!! I do hope you will continue because your inspiration is our inspiration…

  31. Thank you so much, Scott! :)

    Hate2cook….I must admit, I may feel a wee bit sad for her…I mean what a life she must live to have that as a form of entertainment.

  32. This was hilarious! I have a 70 year old neighbor just like this. she was so angry when we put up a shed in the backyard, and “ruined her view” of MY own yard.
    I see her peeking through the fence with her binoculars now and again.Good lord.
    I love your site btw…back to seeking out more of your halloween goodies!

  33. HAHAHA! Nice to know we’re not alone. I think! lol At least we can commiserate. Enjoy the Halloween goodies! I need to come up with some new stuff for this year. Already thinking about it! :D

  34. Oh my, I just about fell out of my chair!

  35. I know exactly how you feel. One christmas morning my neighbor called to wish us a merry christmas and said she called at that time because she saw us in our rec room. After we moved our new neighbor would come up and peek in our basement windows everytime we left the house and cut our bushes so she had a better view of our patio. I don’t know what she thought she was going to see, we are much too boring to spend so much time staring at ;)

  36. i just discovered your site, and i think you’re hilarious. you really make me laugh. especially your nosy neighbour story. plus you’ve got some GREAT recipes.

  37. Many thanks… Yet an additional amazing posting, surely the key reason why my partner and I returned to the web-site frequently!!

  38. I hate it when people “say I know how you feel.” But clearly I can say I know how you feel. We owned 60 acres in Northern California. About 2 months after we moved onto the property, the house (and property) next to ours was purchased by a person from Southern California. We had two parcels that wrapped around his and two different driveways.

    The day after he moved in, he drove onto our property. Did not even introduce himself and told us that we would no longer be using the driveway closest to his house (even though it was ours – right-of-way and all). He also told us that we would not be build on the parcel closest to his as he did not want anything in the way of his lake view. He was referring to the parcel where we were staking out to build a small guest house. In other words, he did not want anything on the 20 acre parcel that we had purchased 3 years before he showed up on the scene.

    I told him that he was mighty unfriendly and that we had already obtained permits to begin to build the guest house. He said that he would do everything in his power to stop us. We were totally within our rights – he found this out when he went to the govt. agencies. When I talk about view, I am talking about a 2000 foot view and our plans were to take up 1.5% of the view on OUR OWN property.

    Well when the govt. said we were totally within our rights, he became a pain in the #%@$##%.

    He blocked off our drive way with boulders and shipped us a certified letter to tell us that we could no longer use our drive and because we had two drives, we should use the other one. We owned two parcels there is no way that we would ever give up that drive because it would land lock the parcel of land if we ever wanted to sell it.

    Any time we ever worked on the parcel closest to him, he would stand at the property line and take pictures. Of what, I do not know.

    He also yelled and told me to come to the property line to see him. I did and he told me that he had purchased a telescopic microphone and that he would be taping our conversations. I am sure that those tapes would be pretty boring.

    . . . and then matters got worse. We had constructed a new shed ( 8 months before he purchased) and he called the police and told them that we were growing drugs in the shed. We were surrounded by cops with guns pulled. They told me that they wanted to see inside. I told them that they needed a warrant but because I was I nice guy, I would show them. I opened the door and they found nothing but a pick-up truck, tools, etc. I then asked them if our next door neighbor made the false reports and the officer said ahhhh yes, ummm we cannot tell you who made the report. Well I got my answer.

    Needless to say, we always felt uncomfortable with him as a neighbor. We moved three years later.

    I hope that no one ever has a neighbor from hell like we did and nikki. Sorry nikki it is not fun.

  39. I came on here because my sister “Hannahbanana” told me about it, and just laughed out loud in my own front room, my husband is Spanish and we used to live in Spain, and this sounds soooo like so many old spanish ladies. As a nation they tend towards….let’s see…..intrusiveness? But some have mutated into individuals of intrusive proportions that is just…Un.Believeable!! so so funny. Sorry to laugh at your plight. Hope it is better nowadays.

  40. And, yes, I, too can relate.

    At our home we have a waterfront view. Lucky you say …. well … we have a neighbor across the water (about 1/4 mile) who has super-duper binoculars on a tripod aimed at our side of the lake. Yeesh!!! I make sure to NEVER take a “nature walk” in our home … just in case. You can put up all the curtains, blinds, etc., but wouldn’t you know that just that once, they’d be open. Well, I’ve told our neighbors about it so we can all protect ourselves. Man, what a creep!

  41. i really enjoying here to read your posts

  42. I feel for you. We have a similar neighbor, except he doesn’t listen, he spies. All the time. We take out the trash, he has to come outside to watch us. Mow the yard? He’s out there. Friends over to visit? He’s watching. We put up a 6′ vinyl privacy fence. So what does he do? He hangs over the top of the fence to watch my kids. Totally creepy. We’re trying to sell our house to a biker gang.

  43. Heya! I understand this is somewhat off-topic however I needed to ask. Does running a well-established blog like yours require a large amount of work? I am brand new to writing a blog but I do write in my diary every day. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my own experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

  44. Oh my goodness! an remarkable write-up dude. A lot of thanks Even so My business is experiencing trouble with ur rss . Do not know why Struggle to sign up to it. Can there be every person obtaining identical rss dilemma? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  45. Creepy. Yeah, our landlord lives next door and pretends to be watering the flowers while eavesdropping at our open windows. And I thought THAT was bad…I guess I haven’t seen anything.

  46. I am a single mother, and had a neighbor that used to sit in her carport and look in my kitchen window. Im talking for at least a half hour duration or more. Closing the blinds and staring back at her didnt work, so after 2 months I decided I had to try something else.
    I made up a little basket of snacks ( micro popcorn, pop, licorice etc), knocked on her door and said….

    My kids will be sleeping at thier grandparents tonight and I have invited (he who shall not be named) over for dinner and some crazy kitchen sex ( were talking freaky stuff ) and I just wanted to make sure you were prepared. This way you wont miss anything..see me later :)

    Obviously I didnt have sex in my kitchen that night, freaky or otherwise lol…but I never caught her staring in my kitchen ever again!!!!!!

  47. very nice post. i like your writing skill very much you are amazing nikki i love to read your blog always.

  48. good articles..

  49. its me that you are the soo good aritlces writer and reall glad to post.

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